trapped in deprecation
heavy boot
dull blade
teary eyes
heavy throat
a stream of panic inhabits the mind,
control was never yours. the only way out is failure
in this moment you see nothing else
not even your words lessen the boot
no final breath of relief this time
you scream and beg in your mind
let me go, let me start to fix this
but you can’t. you’re just frozen here.
useless.
writing this poem that you struggle to call a poem,
fingers over arrow keys playing tetris.
watching the blocks fall haphazardly.
watching the minutes falling.
changing the music to not disrupt your stream of thought.
set me free from this mind.
because if average is all i am shaped out to be in the end,
i can’t reconcile myself with all of this thought and frustration.
no Lord can fix that.
self purpose comes from within
and some days I feel like I achieve it. other days
it just feels like that same dull blade
digging deeper into my chest
boring that same old hole.